Review of "In Your Honor" (1 of 2)

First off, this is only a review of the first of two discs. The second disc is all acousticy-chill stuff and will be examined in future update. The first disc, however, is 10 songs of brute rock a lá typical Foo Fighters—which is rarely ever a bad thing. Without further ado:



1. “In Your Honor” – The title track. It starts off how rock a rock album should: incoherent distortion that continuously grows towards one massive “AHHHHHHHHH” at the end. The lyrics are good, but nothing spectacular. Dave screams about how he, ahem, screams about his willingness to sacrifice his life for your honor “for you to feel alive.” Good stuff overall, and jumps right into song two… (Overall: 9/10)

2. “No Way Back” – The riff that starts this song is a combination of “Win or Lose” (A FF’ single from the “Out Cold” soundtrack—great song) and “A Crow Left of the Murder” (The song, not the entire album). The fact that this riff is a little reminiscent of both of these tunes is by no means a bad thing; on the contrary, the familiarity gets you fist-pumping immediately. The lyrics to the chorus have a pretty cool theme about them: meeting someone for the first time, feeling that chemistry immediately, and just going crazy having a good time while not looking back (get all that?). (Overall: 9/10)

3. “Best of You” – Seriously, if you haven’t heard this song yet, then it’s kind of odd that you’d even care about a FF CD review in the first place. Nevertheless, this song rocks, and will no doubt be a live staple for the remainder of the Foo’s days. The synchronization of the guitars and drums make the perfect backdrop for the vocals—which are clearly out front and the highlight of the song. Lyrically, the rhyme scheme is amazing, and while you might expect that to hinder the actual flow of words, it actually moves nicely. (Overall: 10/10)

4. “DOA” – This song would be 100% kickass if it weren’t for the overly-pop chorus. It doesn’t work with the theme of the lyrics and the music for the verses (which are awesome). In my opinion, this song is clearly about a breakup/divorce. We can only hope Dave is speaking metaphorically when he says “It’s a shame we have to die, my dear/No one’s getting out of here alive/this time.” (Overall 7.5/10)

5. “Hell” – To my taste, this song just doesn’t have enough to ever really get going. This may be due to the fact that the song is a few seconds under two minutes. Even still, the song just doesn’t seem like it’s rocking enough to be singing “Sing farewell/see you in hell.” The vocals are really good, though. Kinda makes you wonder if Dave would’ve been in an a’capella group had he finished high school… (Overall: 7/10)

6. “The Last Song” – I’m not sure what to make of this one. It’s good, but I don’t find myself as excited as I do earlier in the album. A catchy chorus that’s really only two lines long, Dave sings about how he’s tired [of you] and damn it, this is the last song he’s going to dedicate to you. Reminds me of that thing where people tell you over and over again how they’re “not gonna talk to you anymore.” (Overall: 7/10)

7. “Free Me” – Now we’re rocking again! This song has a killer riff that continues thru most of the song, and the lyrics are all about Dave needing to be freed from his mind and thoughts because they’re reminding him of all the bad times. The outro is also definitely a keeper: “Oh! O-oo! Oh!” I… I guess you have to hear it. (Overall: 9/10)

8. “Resolve” – re•solve (r -z lv ) – 1.To make a firm decision about. See also slower FF songs: “Big Me,” “Walking After You,” “Halo,” or “Next Year” (there’s one on every album). The noticeably slower song doesn’t quite do it for me. It definitely has it’s moments, but as a whole, it sounds to me like the type of song the rest of the band would play live with absolutely zero emotion on their faces. (Overall 7/10)

9. “The Deepest Blues Are Black” – Amen, brotha Dave. Dave holds back nothing on this one calling out “Shame on you/Seducing everyone/You faded jewel/You diamond in the rough/You don’t have to tell me/I know where you’ve been.” Me-ow! I swear if Dave Grohl were a woman, he’d have just called some other ho a bitch started ripping out her hair. Alas, he’s not a she, he’s a he, and he writes really groovin’ songs like this. The verse builds you towards a gut-wrenching chorus. (Overall (9/10)

10. “End Over End” – This is how you end an album. From the first strums, this song gets your head bobbing, and once the lyrics come in, they don’t disappoint. Before the second pre-chorus/chorus section hits, you’re already singing along, which is either a sign of a shitty song (anyone remember that god-awful “Follow Me” song Uncle Kracker did?) or a really kickass one that is one giant cathartic release because it hits home so instantly. I’ll let you guess which category this one falls under. Needless to say, I have a hard time not speeding on the highway when I listen to this one (Overall: 10/10)



All in all, this CD most definitely met the expectations that were looming for the much-talked about double-feature. Dave said the idea of doing one rock and one acoustic disc was intriguing because it would allow him to go as hard as he wanted, and as soft as he wanted. While this may not be the Foo’s hardest rocking tunes (see practically every title on the self-titled album), it certainly shows the always improving songwriting skills of the Lord and Savior of Rock—Dave Grohl.

Must Listen To: “In Your Honor,” “No Way Back,” “Best of You,” “The Deepest Blues Are Black,” and “End Over End.”

Could’ve Done Without: “Hell” and “Resolve”

Overall: 9/10

People from Wal-Mart have no sense of humor

On my way back up to Denver Monday night, I stopped at the Wal-Mart on North Academy to see if I might be able to get the new Foo Fighters' CD that (technically) comes out Tuesday.



I show up in the entertainment area of Ball-Cart at 10:30 p.m., and two employees are sitting around one checkout station—which, first of off, it's 10:30 at night on a Monday. How many people do you need to swipe a CD?—doing absolutely nothing.

I’m the only person for about 100 yards in every direction. As I slowly approach the two, foolishly wait for a moment to see if they’d acknowledge my existence, and finally crack and ask for their help, I ask if they have a box of the new Foo Fighters' CD. I mention that the CD comes out on "Tuesday" with a sarcastic smile and look at my ticking watch: 10:45 p.m. The 36-I-wish-I-were-still-26-year-old looks at me quizzically and says, "No, I haven’t seen any boxes around. And even if we did, we couldn’t sell it to you yet, there’d be a $10,000 fine for selling it early.”

I’m a bit taken aback. All I want is the CD. I’m not looking to rat out two graveyard shift-taking Wal-Mart employees to the FCC. I give a chuckle. I have no doubts he’s not “allowed” to sell me the CD yet, but he’s joking about being fined… right? His face goes back to being the stone-wall it was before he recognized I was even in the store.

“It’s not like I’m planning on telling anyone. I was just hoping if you guys have some CD’s ready to be put on the shelf, I might have one a few minutes early.”

All of a sudden, the girl who’s been sitting with her back to me this whole time turns around in a rather rude way and blurts,

“The computer would know. We’d scan it, it’d go through the system, it’d recognize when we made the sale, and then they’d fine the store $10,000 and they’d terminate us.”

“Jesus,” I said retorting quickly, “they’d kill you?”

At this point, I accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to get a CD, but I figure I could at least lighten up the mood in the “entertainment” section of Mall-Wart. My response was not only non-existent, they actually looked like they wanted to beat me up. After standing still for another awkward few seconds, I slowly shuffle off more pissed off at Will-Fart than ever before.

I swear… people who work at that shitty store have no sense of humor.

REPOST! (September 2010) I PREDICTED HIPSTERS!

I didn't want to be right... Spaghetti Monster knows I didn't want to be right. I understand the word "hipster" has been around for ages, but it was never personified the way it has been over the last year or two. That being said, think about what was going in in 2005. The "best" albums of the year (according to Spin Magazine) included Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, My Morning Jacket, and Death Cab for Cutie (read: indie/hipster breeding ground).

Ergo, I'm going to repost my original entry from over 5 years ago which--through very confusing circular logic--predicted the rise of hipsters... and the fall of civilization.

______________________________________________________________

I have figured out the ebb and flow (and consequences) of the trends of today's society.

Really.

Try and follow me here…

My main theory is this: the fads of our society are in a continuous cycle that will eventually swallow us all whole and kill everyone (that last part is only in there so in case it actually happens, I can say, “Ha ha, you didn’t believe me, but I told you so.”).

Here’s how it all works…

Black people (specifically black men) are currently setting the standards and trends in today’s social world. White men try to adopt the positive traits associated with today’s black man. Women (specifically white women) want to have the positive social benefits typically attributed to white men. And white men in general are the ones fucking everything up!

Let’s try putting this all into context:

Women currently account for 96% of the sports analyst positions in nearly every channel on television (Telemundo excluded). Most of these women work at these positions simply because at some point in time, a man said they couldn’t (I’m not saying women don’t know their sports, but the transition from all male analysts to all female analysts has been practically overnight). Anytime one of the color commentators wants details about a game situation, they always send it down to “Susie Jockstrap on the field.”

This sudden change in the sports market has had a direct effect on the amount of estrogen in today’s average male (white). The more the women analyze sports, the more the men (white) become little pussies. Point in case: the metrosexual.

The metrosexual pampers his own hair more than Donald Trump’s wig-maker, and can be seen spending more time in the bathroom than his “girlfriend.” Once the women started taking over the sports positions, men everywhere had collective nervous breakdowns and started tweezing their eyebrows. THIS sudden change in white men acting more like women has had a dramatic effect on black men. Namely, the power and control black men once had over white men is nearly gone. Therefore, black men have started to portray those who white men now act like… white women. Case in point: Kanye West starting the trend of “men” wearing pink.




















THIS has all had an immediate relapse effect back on the women. Now, women (again, white) feel as if the men (white) are emulating the style of black men… which makes the white women want to be more like black men. Case in Point: Gwen Stefani—who apparently “ain’t no ‘hollaback’ girl” (probably because Gavin Rossdale has no idea what the fuck that means… by the way, British men are a completely different story and don't come into play in my theory).




















By the way, take notice the tie she’s wearing… interesting.

All in all, the path the country is on is a bad one, and if we don’t stop the bandwagon soon, this is my guess for what white men will look like in five years: