Word of the Day: "Gratifaction"

It's amazing the type of shit your brain thinks up when it's completely fried after a full week of finals, papers, and tests. "Gratifaction" was my gem the other day. It took me about 10 minutes to realize what I said wasn't an actual word. The sad part was none of the 5 people around me noticed either. They just nodded their head as if they understood from the beginning. This got me thinking (after I napped for 4 hours of course)... what else does our brain tell us is real when we’re so completely consumed in worthless studies? Do you like lists? I like lists... I hope you like lists...

1) Dinner is a 3-hour long process – It's almost like having your own fancy seven-course meal, except you'll be eating Ramen, mac & cheese, and more Ramen instead of filets, soufflé, and parfait... and any other rich-sounding foods. Dinner for the “finals-studying” student consists of telling yourself every 10 minutes that you need a break/are hungry, so you justify this lie by consistently going to the pantry for anything to stuff your face with. Before finals, you didn’t even realize that ice-cubes could be eaten as a meal, but hey, you’re not studying right now… you’re taking a break.

2) Checking everyone’s away messages counts as research – Need an extra citation for your thesis on “Eastern Philosophy’s influence on an Imperialistic America during Manifest Destiny”? Well, be sure to check the profiles of such visionaries as “MasturCheef666,” “SukMaiBawls,” and “voices123456789” (that last one is real, sadly) and let your professor know that Mao Tse Tsung truly believed that in order to understand the universe, one must “PaRtY aT tHe KaPpA-gAmMa-EpSiLoN aLl FuCkIn’ NiGhT” (Tit_e_Twist_er68443).

D) No matter how depressed you are with finals (or perhaps because of it) this website will ALWAYS be able to make you smile – http://www.stfd.net/

3.141592645) Hey! Look at some of the cool symbols you can create by holding “Alt” and pressing different 2 or 3 number combinations on the number pad – ¶ § Æ £… Sweet!